Triple Take #30: Think identity, not goals this January for your voice, presence and confidence!

Voice Confident's Triple Take - your fortnightly trio of tips!

Key Takeaways on Improving Your Voice, Presence and Confidence

1. Relax Your Voice: Your vocal tone is directly linked to physical tension. By consciously relaxing your shoulders, neck, and face before speaking, you can free up your voice to sound naturally more confident.

2. Set Your Presence Intention: Decide on one word that defines the presence you want to have, such as 'calm' or 'focused'. This simple intention guides your body language and helps you set the tone of the interaction.

3. Practise Your New Identity: Confidence is a skill built through practice. Use daily affirmations and positive self-talk to help your brain adopt a new, more capable identity, making confident communication feel more natural.

Introduction - why you should think about identity, not goals

At this time of year, many people focus on general goals; speak more, feel confident, get better at presenting. But these kinds of goals alone don’t change how we show up in the moment. What often creates deeper, more lasting change is thinking about identity; deciding who you are when you speak and letting actions follow from there.

In this issue, we’ll explore how shifting from outcomes to identity can transform your voice, your presence and your confidence.

Voice - lose the vocal tension

Outcome goals like “be more confident” are vague and hard to embody, so it's good to be able to focus on small physical changes.

Your voice is a product of very many physical habits. One of the things that most affects voice tone is tension - in the jaw, in the tongue, in the muscles around the larynx inside the throat, in the shoulders and in other areas too. A relaxed voice tone naturally sounds more confident than a tense one, so focus on releasing and relaxing the muscles in your tummy, shoulders, neck and face. You'll feel better and your voice tone will sound more relaxed and confident.

👉 Try this: Before you walk in to your next event, use stretches, movement or tensing and releasing to relax the muscles in your shoulders, neck and face, and stick out your tongue for 10s to stretch it. Notice how your voice tone is freed up when you start to speak.

Presence - set the intention for your body to follow

Intention quietly shapes how you enter a room. When you decide what you want your presence to communicate, your body often adjusts without conscious effort. Tone steadies, pace becomes more deliberate and breath slows.

Presence is not about performance; it’s about clarity. Ask yourself what you want people to feel when you speak. Calm reassurance? Focused authority? Warm connection? That decision influences how you stand, how you move and how available you appear to others.

By choosing presence intentionally, you stop reacting to the room and start setting the tone within it.

👉 Try this: before your next interaction, decide on one word you want your presence to communicate. Hold it in mind as you walk in and notice how your posture, breath and energy subtly shift.

Confidence - practise until your brain accepts the challenge

The brain prioritises ease over challenge. If public speaking has felt difficult, adopting a confident mindset can initially feel false or uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong; it means it’s unfamiliar.

Self-talk plays a crucial role in shaping identity. Repeating messages that reflect who you want to become helps your brain build new expectations. Over time, those thoughts feel more natural. Pairing words with physical cues reinforces the message at a nervous system level.

👉 Try this: write one sentence that reflects your future self, such as “I am a capable communicator and connector; I am warm and approachable.” Repeat it daily with a gentle smile and a slow breath. Let your brain practise this identity.

FAQs for Triple Take #30: Think identity, not goals this January for your voice, presence and confidence!

Why is focusing on identity better than setting goals for my voice?

Goals like “be more confident” can be vague and hard to act on in the moment. Focusing on your identity, such as deciding to be a 'calm and reassuring speaker', provides a clear internal guide. This helps your actions, from your voice tone to your posture, align naturally, creating more lasting change.

How can I quickly improve my presence before a meeting?

Before you enter the room, choose one word for the presence you want to communicate, for example, 'focused' or 'approachable'. Hold that intention in your mind. You will likely find your posture, breathing, and overall energy subtly shift to match it without any conscious effort.

My voice sounds tense. What is a simple exercise to fix this?

Tension is a common issue that affects your voice. Before you speak, try some gentle stretches for your shoulders and neck. You can also stick your tongue out for about ten seconds to release tension in your jaw and tongue. This helps free your vocal tone, allowing it to sound more relaxed and confident.

I feel fake when I try to act confident. What should I do?

Feeling uncomfortable at first is completely normal because your brain is used to old patterns. The key is consistent practice. Start with a simple daily affirmation, like “I am a capable communicator”. Repeating this helps build new neural pathways, and over time, this new confident identity will feel authentic and natural.

Would you like to be a more confident speaker?

Check out the REAL Speaker Programme.