Triple Take #19: Video calls, presence v. message, and the power of gratitude and curiosity

Voice Confident's Triple Take - your fortnightly trio of tips!

Voice: coming across well on video calls

I don't think any of us could have predicted pre-Covid quite how dependent we would become on Zoom/Teams/virtual calls - but they are with us to stay, and most of us couldn't live/work now without them!

I find a little adjustment is needed though to come across well on the screen. My top tips:

1. Slightly over-articulate your words, speaking more deliberately clearly than you typically would in person. This is especially helpful in overcoming poor audio quality or lag, which can distort or cut out parts of your speech. By clearly enunciating and exaggerating your mouth movements just a little, you make it easier for others to follow what you're saying, even if the audio isn’t perfect.

2. Be more animated with your facial expressions and head movements as this helps convey tone and emotion, which can sometimes be lost in virtual meetings. Nods, smiles, and raised eyebrows add important nonverbal cues that enhance communication and keep people engaged. In a digital environment where nuance can be lost, a bit of intentional clarity and energy can help ensure you're understood and your presence remains strong.

3. If you can position the camera so your hands are in the shot, all the better - lots of us 'speak with our hands' in real life so doing so on screen makes the interaction feel more 'in the room', even though it's on a screen.

Presence - matching presence to message

From his research in the 1960s, Albert Mehrabian concluded:

"The non-verbal elements are particularly important for communicating feelings and attitude, especially when they are incongruent: if words and body language disagree, one tends to believe the body language.”

It's a fascinating truth about communication: when words and body language don’t match, people believe the body over the words.

Why? Because non-verbal cues, including tone of voice, facial expressions and posture, are crucial in expressing feelings and attitudes. If you say, “I’m fine,” but your voice is flat and your shoulders slump, you won't be believed.

So from this we learn: Mean what you say, and say what you mean, or your body might speak louder than your words!

Whether you’re pitching an idea, leading a meeting, or just having a chat, make sure your verbal and non-verbal messages are in sync. Authenticity builds trust, and people can spot a disconnect a mile away.

Your body has a voice. Make sure it’s backing you up, not calling you out.

Confidence - gratitude and curiosity beat nerves every time

It’s almost impossible to feel under threat when you're experiencing gratitude or curiosity. These emotions release a cocktail of happy hormones and shift your mindset from survival mode to openness.

When you feel threatened, whether by stress, conflict, or uncertainty, your body goes into fight-or-flight. But gratitude softens that response. It grounds you in what’s working, what’s safe, what’s good. Even in chaos, a moment of genuine thankfulness can regulate your nervous system and restore perspective.

Curiosity works similarly. You can’t be curious and defensive at the same time. Curiosity invites exploration and creativity. Instead of reacting with fear or frustration, you can wonder: Why is this happening? What can I learn? What if this turned out well? That shift opens doors instead of slamming them shut.

As a parent I learned that the quickest way to stop a small child crying is to call attention to any kind of distraction or 'shiny object' - "Ooh, can you see that big red bus? / I think I can hear an aeroplane, can you? / Let's blow some bubbles!" And it turns we grown-ups aren't so different.

So next time you feel under pressure, try this: pause, breathe, and ask yourself, What am I grateful for in this moment? What am I curious about?

P.S. My friend Ricky Locke recently based his fantastic TedX talk around the power of curiosity - check it out here.